


eret, the child adopter

by arfrid



Series: eret the child adopter [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom
Genre: Eret come pick up your children, Gen, Single Dad Eret AU, Single Parents, they're fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28934778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arfrid/pseuds/arfrid
Summary: Eret adopts Fundy and Niki, and all the troubles that come along with it.
Relationships: Eret & Floris | Fundy, Eret & Floris | Fundy & Niki | Nihachu, Eret & Niki | Nihachu
Series: eret the child adopter [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122185
Comments: 10
Kudos: 83





	eret, the child adopter

**Author's Note:**

> if any of the CCs are uncomfortable with this i will take it down
> 
> no ships here sir

Eret was fucking seething.

It was week 2 after he had found out that Wilbur was paying more attention to his new 'country' (even though they weren't actually independant yet) than his own son.

Fundy appeared at every meeting, despite only being 13 years old. He used to look entertained by everything, like it was a game. He used to blow raspberries at anyone who suggested he leave. Everyone babied him, treated him like an infant, and slowly, Wilbur started doing so too.

Eret could tell he  hated being babied, so he started treating him like he would anyone, and Fundy immediately grew attached to him.

Wilbur had started growing more ignorant and neglectful towards Fundy, and more drawn towards L'Manburg.

But now? Eret was fucking  _seething_ .

Fundy hadn't eaten for  _three days._

_** Three. Days. ** _

So now Eret was fully seething.

He slammed open the door to Wilbur's office. Well, it used to be an Wilbur's old music room, but recently it had turned into some sort office, with papers and plans lining the walls, cups of coffee on every surface that wasn't covered in papers.

_ "71, 72..." _ Wilbur was saying. Eret didn't know what he was talking about and didn't really care. Wilbur looked up lazily at the bang of the doors. "Eret, I'm trying to focus here. Please lea-"

"What the fuck." Eret said, his voice growing louder. "What the  _ fuck.  _ You've been paying more attention to L'Manburg  than you have your own son."

"My own-" Wilbur cut himself off mid-speech. "Oh. Oh, shit-  _Fundy_ -"

Eret sneered at him. "Finally realized, have you? He hasn't eaten for  _ three days. Three. FUCKING. DAYS. _ "

Wilbur had turned pale, and he stammered something, but Eret cut him off, "Let's get straight to the point. You care more about a drug van than you're son. I care more about your son than I do the drug van."

Wilbur still looked pale, but he nodded stiffly. "I didn't-"  


"I want custody of him." Eret said bluntly.

Wilbur sat there for a full 20 seconds,  obviously contemplating a decision. Eret is silently conflicted on the inside.

On one hand, he wants Fundy far away from Wilbur, because Wilbur clearly doesn't know shit about parenting. Plus, Fundy was a funny, loud, half-aggresive hybrid kid, and Eret liked his 'spunk'.

On the other hand, Eret would probably never have a peaceful moment again. And plus, he doesn't even know anything about Eret, only the fact that he would do a damn better job than Wilbur.

Then, the world seemed to shake as Wilbur nodded his head, and said, very quietly, "Okay."

Wilbur supplied him for anything he might need for parenting, including food, an extra room, and everything a young, fiery fox boy might need. Eret himself  was extremely nervous, since,  _how do children work?_

But, it worked out surprisingly well.

Fundy took the news extremely well, immediately calling Eret 'Dad'. Wilbur looked away pointedly every time it happened, but Eret dismissed that. He liked Fundy far too much to worry about that.

Eret found out he wasn't that bad at parenting, rarely forgetting anything essential. You could even say he spoiled Fundy a bit, but hey, what did it matter when Fundy looked up at him with awe in his eyes and a big grin.

It was only a year later when things changed for the better.

L'Manburg's  independance still wasn't a thing, but they were starting to win.  Fundy was getting more and more excited about legally getting adopted once L'Manburg was it's own place. 

Eret saw how bored Fundy was when Eret left him at home to go look in the mines, so he started taking Fundy with him, which Fundy was more than happy to come with.

This was one such expedition.

Eret was getting a pile of iron ore, having rapidly built a furnace in the hole next to him, and letting Fundy go away for a minute, calling him and getting him to come back when necessary.

"Dad!" Fundy yelled. "Hey, Dad! I found someth- AH-"  


Fundy's yelp made Eret drop the axe he was holding, and bringing out a sword, sprinting to the area he heard it from.

_ I've got to find Fundy. Protect him. PROTECT HIM.  _

Eret heard yells coming from a corridor to his right, and ran into it, only to freeze  at the sight ahead of him. There is a fight, but it's not from a zombie or skeleton as expected, but instead with a pink-haired girl, except the girl was losing, badly. Fundy was in his anthropomorphic fox form, and he was on top of the girl, punching and scarring and hitting her. She was screaming, and there was blood and green liquid everywhere, including Fundy's fists and the girl's face.

"Fundy!" Eret yelled, dropping his sword, running towards them and lifting Fundy up by the arms. Fundy struggled for a second before realizing it was Eret, and turning into his more human self. "Fundy, what-"

The girl backed up against the wall, not realizing it was a dead end. One of her eyes was enderman-purple, while the other was bright green. Definitely inhuman.

"She attacked me!" Fundy screamed. "She fucking attacked me! What was I supposed to do, let her pummel me?!"

Eret considered the girl's miniature stature and terrified, wild eyes, before talking into Fundy's ear. "She's scared, Fundy. She didn't know if you would attack her, so she made the first move." He explained. Fundy's ears pricked up, then lowered down. "Please stop shouting, you're scaring her even more."

Fundy nodded, and Eret slowly let him back down.

The girl seemed to be hyperventilating, and at that point, Eret could fully see her. She had pointed ears, and her hair was in a messy ponytail. She looked incredibly thin, even for someone her age, and it was clear she hadn't eaten in days, maybe even weeks. Her eyes were beautiful, startled, terrified and wild. A few patches of her skin was black, and she had what looked like light purple freckles dusting her cheeks.

_ An enderman hybrid _ , Eret thought in awe.  _ I haven't seen one since before L'Manburg. _

His thoughts trailed off when Fundy took a tentative step towards the girl. She whimpered, but recovered her wits and growled at him, her canines sharpened. 

"Hey, it's okay." Fundy said, his voice soft and gentle as he kneeled down to her height. "I'm sorry, you just scared me."

Eret was impressed by how gentle his son was. Usually, he was hyper and loud, scaring off pigeons, but this was the softest his voice had been since... since, well, Eret adopted him.

The girl kept trembling, but her tensed muscles relaxed slightly.

Eret sat down and she avoided eye contact with both of them. 

_ Probably the Enderman genes,  _ Eret thought. He instead opted to look at her hair. It was grimy, and had a lot of dirt and blood in it.

"Hi there." Eret said, grabbing Fundy's hand and pulling him back. "I'm Eret. What's your name?"

The girl doesn't say anything, but the trembling has mostly died down, and her muscles relax. 

"I'm Fundy!" Fundy said proudly. "This is my dad!"

The girl tilts her head, like she doesn't know what it is. "My... dat?"

Her voice is accented slightly, sounding german. His heart breaks when he hears the confusion in her tone, and he's so very tempted to look into those eyes and give her a long, firm hug.

Fundy, however, is oblivious to everything. " _ My _ dad. He's my dad and my dad only!" He said, grabbing onto Eret and pouting. The girl looks even more confused than before.

"What is... dat?" She asked, the word sounding alien in her mouth.

"Oh, you don't know?" Fundy asked, sounding completely curious. "Well,  a dad is someone... who protects you! They take care of you and are all nice and don't ignore you!"

Fundy hugged Eret, and Eret laughed, though not exactly liking Fundy's choice of words. The girl still looked confused.

"What's your name?" Asked Fundy.

The girl mumbled something incomprehesible. Eret blinked, and then said, "A little louder?"

She cleared her throat, then said something in Enderspeak. It sounded something like this:  _ nik-ey _

"Niki?" Eret asked, mishearing.

The girl considered, then nodded.

"Niki!" Fundy said, his voice louder than before. Niki flinched. "I like that name! Come on! We'll take you to our home."

Eret reached out a hand, and Niki hesitated, then grabbed it. He heaved her up and managed to hold her in one arm. Fundy walked next to Eret and Niki, looking jealous at first, then excited.

He explained what L'Manburg was, how it was amazing, the Fight for Independance, and Niki smiled.

As he came in, TommyInnit grinned at him. "Adopted another child! Eret the Child Adopter!"

Eret looked down at Niki, now sleeping in his arms, and sighed. "Yeah. I guess I have."


End file.
